Choosing Yourself After a Lifetime of Self-Abandonment
Healing the Core Wound of Self-Abandonment
There comes a moment in life, a quiet reckoning, when we realize:
We’ve been choosing everyone but ourselves.
We overextend.
We say yes when we mean no.
We dim, shrink, and abandon our truth just to feel safe, avoid conflict, be accepted, or needed.
It may look like strength on the outside, but inside, it’s a deep ache; the grief of betraying ourselves in exchange for belonging.
This is the wound of not choosing yourself.
Where Does This Begin?
The belief that being authentic or choosing ones self needs will result in being left, unloved, or punished.
This often forms from early caregiving dynamics where love was conditional: “I am only good when I please others.”
Also often forms when children had to take care of their parents: energetically or physically by growing up too quick.
Result: Chronic self-betrayal, people-pleasing, overgiving.
This core wound often stems from early experiences of:
Abandonment
Conditional love
Emotional enmeshment
As children, choosing ourselves may have meant rejection, punishment, or shame. So we learned:
“My needs don’t matter.”
“I must earn love by betraying myself.”
“If I choose myself, I’ll be rejected, alone, or unsafe.”
These internalized beliefs become the script we carry into every relationship, career, and dream, until we awaken and choose to rewrite it.
Core Wound: Rejection or Abandonment
Choosing our needs once led to being ignored, punished, or shamed.
So we learned to betray ourselves to avoid rejection.
Example:
In relationships, we stay silent when we’re hurt afraid that expressing our needs will push people away.
We over-give, over-forgive, and slowly disappear beneath the guise of “love.”
🔄 But the cost of being loved for who we’re not is the abandonment of who we truly are.
Energetic Imprint: Self-Abandonment
An internalized pattern of abandoning her inner child or inner truth to maintain connection or avoid conflict.
Leads to ignoring intuition, suppressing desires, and tolerating misaligned situations.
Result: Emotional numbness, resentment, inner split between what she feels vs. what she does.
Many of us learned to abandon ourselves before others could.
This results in:
Numbing desires
Ignoring intuition
Tolerating misaligned relationships, jobs, or paths
Example:
In business or creative work, we keep offering what drains us because it’s what people expect, even when our soul is calling us into something new.
🕊️ But peace only comes when our inner yes becomes louder than external expectations.
Shadow Pattern: Unworthiness
Deep down, we may believe:
“I’m not enough to be chosen — even by myself.”
Choosing ourselves might feel selfish, dangerous, or too much.
A subconscious belief: “I am not enough to be chosen, even by myself.”
Choosing oneself might trigger guilt, shame, or fear of being "selfish" or “too much.”
Result: Seeking external validation, sacrificing self for others’ approval.
Example:
We hesitate to rest, set boundaries, or say no because guilt floods the body when we prioritize our joy over others’ expectations.
💛 But worthiness isn’t earned, it’s what you are.
Karmic Loop: Martyrdom & Over-Responsibility
We may carry ancestral or soul-level codes of:
Over-caretaking
Self-sacrifice
Being the “strong one”
Example:
We feel responsible for everyone; family, clients, community. Even when we’re exhausted, we keep showing up, afraid that stepping back will cause everything to fall apart.
But healing doesn’t happen through more sacrifice; it happens through clearing these aspects that are deeply rooted to the inner child inside being trained on what conditional love looks like.
The Healing Invitation: Sovereignty & Soul Remembrance
To truly heal this wound, we are invited into remembrance:
✧ Our needs are sacred
✧ Choosing ourselves is not abandoning others, it’s aligning with truth
✧ Our worth is intrinsic; not tied to productivity, pleasing, or being chosen by others
Choosing Yourself Looks Like…
Saying no without apology
Creating boundaries and letting people be disappointed
Walking away from relationships that don’t honor your full self
Starting the project, offering, or dream you’ve been holding back on
Taking up space in your own life
A Moment of Reflection
Ask yourself gently:
Where in my life am I still waiting for permission to choose myself?
Let that question open a doorway. Let it whisper back your power.
✧ Ready to Choose Yourself on a Soul Level? ✧
If this message resonates deep in your body, if you’re feeling the call to finally choose yourself, reclaim your voice, and clear the old patterns of self-abandonment, you're not alone.
A Krystic Energy System (KES) Session is a multidimensional wholing that helps you:
Reprogram the belief that it’s not safe to choose yourself
Go to the core of why you are not being in your truth: is it inner child related, past life? Let’s tune in.
Clear ancestral, karmic, and energetic imprints of self-betrayal
Restore your connection to truth, wholeness, and divine alignment
⚡️ You don’t have to carry these old stories anymore.
🕊️ You’re worthy of choosing yourself; fully, fiercely, and now.
✧ Book a KES Session via Text Message or WhatsApp: 760-472-6513
Or email directly if you're feeling the call but have questions.
Your soul knows the way back.
It would be an honor to walk with you into your remembrance.
